Kids, Competition and Coming to Reality

Every kid competing in team sports or other areas of athletic competition has at some point had the dream of moving on to the “next level”. Where that dream takes them is up to them. That next level dream might be just becoming a starter, getting more playing time, or more recognition for their talents among their peers. But for some the dream consists of college scholarships, olympic trials, and professional competition. This mindset is awesome since it encourages self improvement and the realization of the work that needs to be done in order to accomplish just about anything worthwhile. However, along with every kid that is dreaming and competing there is normally a parent right there with them, offering support along the way.

A phenomenon that I have observed in the last few years (mostly because my children all compete in competitive sports at their own levels) is not just the parents that put their children on a pedestal (parents you should do this by the way, they are your kids and should be special to you) but the organizations that promote pushing kids along.

Look around at all the camps, travel teams, tournaments, and other competitive venues that are billed as a “must” if there is any chance of future success for your child. Then take a good look at the price tag that comes along with those programs. They are often absurdly priced but we’ve been conditioned to believe that it is the price you have to pay for success.

I took four years of Latin as a foreign language in high school and I still cannot put one sentence together in that language. I did have a very eccentric teacher which made the class interesting even though I struggled the entire time. He told us stories of his brother that made his way to the top of his field in journalism becoming an editor and a writer for a well known national magazine. His brother did not have the advantages of going to Ivy League schools or having connections along the way. The moral of his story was always “It’s not where you go, it’s what you do when you are there.” and the what you do was to work your butt off.

If your child is involved in some form of competition it is safe to assume they have an interest in it, maybe that interest was sparked by your interest or past involvement with said activity. You may be aware of talent levels of past and present athletes, maybe you even know of a few that received scholarships, went on to gain recognition or the professional arena. Those numbers are extremely slim.

Don’t lose hope yet though and don’t feel that all your efforts have been for naught. I know what it’s like to have children involved in these programs. As I write this I am sitting in a hotel room in South Bend, Indiana because my 10 year old daughter is competing in the week long National Baton Twirling Association annual championships held at Notre Dame. It’s ironic because Notre Dame was the school I dreamt of going to to play football at as a kid myself. My daughter is talented in what she does but she has her strong points and weaknesses just like anyone else. She is extremely athletic. I love watching her pick up any sport and just be a natural at it. Her sport however requires showmanship and presentation, not her strong point but I think you need that first skill first and then you can work on the fine points.

If you have a child that you can honestly say possesses the talents or has that athleticism required for their sport, pursue their success as much as you can but do not force it down their throat it will get spit back out at you. If you feel you are at a dead end or need some direction, here are a few suggestions.

1. Get an Honest Assessment: This will not come from your current travel team or competition coach. Remember the absurd costs you pay to their programs, for the most part they want to keep you in their program for their own success and  recognition. Go somewhere else, a competitor or someone you believe will be unbiased.
2. Take a Step Back: This may come in the form of taking a break. A 12 year old that has true talent isn’t going to miss any opportunities because they did not participate in the “Late Summer Pre Season Semi Annual Classic Tournament”. Or maybe this comes in the form of competing at a level that will restore confidence. Having confidence is huge in kids, make them believe that they are able and 9 times out of 10 they will show you they are able.
3. Have Fun: Remember why they are involved in this stuff in the first place. Your 8 year old does not see their next competition as a major step towards getting a D1 scholarship. To them it is just fun or at least it should be. If it's not your are 100% wasting your time.